Murphy's Laws

hear out laws from Murphy...

Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy's Third Law: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Military Laws: 1. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

Murphy's Military Laws: 2. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

Murphy's Military Laws: 3. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

Murphy's Military Laws: 4. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

Murphy's Military Laws: 5. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy's Military Laws: 6. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

O'Toole's commentary on murphy's law: Murphy was an optimist.


Lets hear from others too...

(Douglas) Hofstadter's law: Any computer project will take twice as long as you think it will even when you take into account Hofstadter's law.
Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Cannon's Comment:If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law: Everything goes wrong all at once.
O'Toole's Commentary: Murphy was an optimist.
Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Gumperson's Law: The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: "Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results."
Lewis' Law: No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The Airplane Law: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Etorre's Observation: The other line moves faster.
Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
Shaw's Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Sattinger's Law It works better if you plug it in.
Lowery's Law: If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Schmidt's Law: If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Anthony's Law of Force Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
Maier's Law: If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Peer's Law: The solution to the problem changes the problem.
Anonymous Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Anonymous Don't get mad, get even.
Knight's Law: Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
Benchley's Law of Distinction: There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Harver's Law: A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Rule of Accuracy: When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Anonymous Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
Wyszowski's Law: No experiment is reproducible.
Fett's Law: Never replicate a successful experiment.
Anonymous Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense.
Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Segal's Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Vique's Law: A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Jone's Motto: Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
The ultimate Law: All general statements are false.
The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something; If it is good, it goes away. If it is bad, it happens.
The Whispered Rule: People will believe anything if you whisper it.
The First Law of Wing Walking: Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.
Farnsdick's corollary: After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
Law of Revelation: The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
Langsam's Law: Everything depends.
First Postulate of Isomurphism: Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
Witten's Law: Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.
Perkin's postulate: The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Stewart's Law of Retroaction: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
MacDonald's Second Law: Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and give it back to them.
Anonymous To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Horngren's Observation: (generalized) The real world is a special case.
Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Woltman's Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, follow instructions.
Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by watching.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction. 2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Sevareid's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Peer's Law: The solution to the problem changes the problem.
Lyall's Fundamental Observation: The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
Klipstein's Observation: Any product cut to length will be too short.
Sueker's Note: If you need n items of anything, you will have n - 1 in stock.
de la Lastra's Law: After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Anonymous Design flaws travel in groups.
Gerrold's Fundamental Truth: It's a good thing money can't buy happiness. We couldn't stand the commercials.
H. L. Menchen Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sure sign he expects to be paid for it.