When I am going to become a father..

Its a long time since I posted anything in here. Now I am a forced bachelor and having some time to spare. Now, I understood the meaning of being a married man. I had been tied to internet & virtual world long time, but now I learnt lot more in outside life than in this blogs and internet. I understood finally that these gives us the knowledge, but to gather wisdom, one need to link self to the outer real world.

Its going to be a time for me to get promoted to be a father (promotion !! more commitment !! more responsibilities !!)

So I came back to gain some knowledge from the net, where I was going through some of the sites to know how to be a good father. I found so many fathers who is feeling the fatherhood out there... I found that fatherhood is more of felt than said (lover, mother).

One site, which I found very interesting yesterday. This site is about a Dad writing letters to his Son and Daughter to let them grow as a good human being and lead a happy life. This can be common for every one as we all are sons and daughers for our parents. I am copy pasting the best ones which I enjoied reading.

Here it follows.............


- The best one to start reading the below ones. this is for when kid grow to become a parent ( very much same as I thought)

Be kind and patient with your children.Remember that they have absolutely no measurement of their value outside of what they get from you. They will think of themselves as good or bad, smart or dumb, loved or unloved, based on how you treat them. Be very careful. Remember that, with children, your life is no longer about what you can get for yourself but what you can give to you kids. The most important thing you can give them is your time and attention.

And remember, that they are in the world because you decided to put them here!!
They did not ask for it !!
You owe it to them to be responsible for their happiness !!

- Best one when the kid goes to school and start understaning the terrible world outside
Until you graduate from high school, you may find that some other kids are just mean. They enjoy being hurtful and they will always be that way.
They are probably like that because their parents are mean to them. With these kids, do not start a fight, but do not walk away from one either.
If you walk away from a fight, they will seek you out again and again, just to be mean, but if you fight back, they will find someone else to bother.
As you get older and the kids get bigger, some of these kids might actually be mean enough to seriously hurt you (because they don't mind going to jail). In that case, let me or Mom know and we will make sure it stops.

After high school, you don't need to worry about mean people because you won't see them every day and you will find that your friends are the kind of people that you like to be with. You will also hear about the mean kids later in life. Usually you hear that they are dead or in prison. I know this from experience because it has happened to most of the mean kids I have ever known.

- When gets away from people
People love to talk about themselves. When you meet people, ask them about their lives and their hobbies. You will find friends, mentors, and allies very quickly.

- When demotivated
Do not define yourself by what others think.
Ask yourself, "if everyone in the world was just like me, would it be a better place?" If the answer is "yes", then you are doing just fine.

- When starting teen
Never assume that your friends, family, or peers understand why you are doing something or asking them to do something.
Your thoughts don't follow you around in a bubble visible above your head. They are a complete mystery to others. Explain yourself and you will have much better relationships.
It is very hard to remember to do this. It requires that you pause and think when working with others, just for a moment, so you can understand if you are being clear or being hasty.

- When Start to living with others
Treat other people how you'd like to be treated. Be kind and helpful and polite to others because you want them to be the same way to you.
Do not be a 'taker'. Always be a 'giver'.
But, do not allow people to take advantage of your kindness. If someone is unkind and unfair to you often and you can tell that they just want to continue take from you, then, you should not feel like you have to continue to be kind to them.



- When worried about life
The world is generally a kind place and everyone generally wants to be kind and have a civil society.
But, in times of trouble, people will only look out for themselves and their family.
You must do the same.

- When in angry
Revenge and anger are a waste of time. Always look for ways to improve your life rather than ways to make others lives worse through retribution. Retribution is a strategy of waste.

If you are cheated or slighted by someone, then, they are off your list…period…not to be thought about again. Let them live out their negative existence while you move on to better acquaintances. Sometimes, anger is helpful theatrically, because it lets those around you know that you can't be pushed around. It is not useful otherwise and holding on to it takes years from your life and money from your pocket.

- When have lost interest in studies
No one will take you seriously without a university education.It is essential to success, even if you feel you might never use what you have learned.

- When worried about the mistakes done
Do not dwell on mistakes or missed opportunities. Learn from them, sure, but do not dwell on them. It is a huge waste of time and emotion to worry about the past since it is completely inalterable. Doing so will only drag you down. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive mistakes from other people. Always look forward.

- When got stuck with a problem
Remember that if something should exist, then it probably does.Never let your self be stopped by lack of a solution. Its out there, you just have not found it. Someone has had the same problem before and they have made the solution available to you.

- When start earning
With money, try never to purchase assets that go down in value.Fancy cars are the worst thing to buy. Houses are better, since they usually go up. Real estate is even better.

Remember that your financial power is based upon what income you have left over to spend on permanent, income producing assets (like property).Follow this strategy, especially from a young age, and your wealth will build very quickly.

- When in failure
Do not be afraid of failure.
Most people do not experience failure because they never try to accomplish anything unusual or challenging….because they are afraid they might fail and others will find out that they have failed.

If you know a person who has tried a major feat and failed, but continued to try new things, then, you can be certain that that person will have success far beyond that of his friends and peers. The people who fail, the people who make mistakes….these are the people who are actually trying to make something happen when others just stand around and watch.

- When became eligible to voting
At various phases of your life, you will have sudden realizations about the world. Mostly, you will come to understand that it is not a reasonable place and that people or groups with money and/or power are self-serving and a danger to civil structure.

You should be aware of this and you should use your power to vote as a weapon, but, do not be overly concerned. Do not let it paralyze you. This is the how humanity has existed for thousands of years. It is better at times and worse in other times, but you accept it as a challenge rather than a barrier.

- When selecting partner, for Son
Women like you better if you carry yourself with soft confidence, even if you don't feel confident.

Carrying yourself with confidence is easy. Laugh a lot. Don't cross your arms. Look people in the eye and say what is on your mind. Act like you don't need approval and approval will follow automatically. Don't end sentences with "but" or "or" because sounds like you are afraid to give your opinion.

- When selecting partner, for Daughter
Men who are mean to waitresses are bad men.

If you go on a date with a man and he is mean or obnoxious to a waitress, it means that he is only nice when he feels like he is going to get something for it or because he has to be.

I call this having "situational values" and you should stay far away from people like these. They can not be trusted.

- When selecting partner, for Daughter
Never marry a man who is consumed by how he looks, what he drives, or what he wears. Men like these do not understand selflessness and they will always put themselves ahead of you and your children.

They will cheat with other women to make themselves feel good and they will not be good fathers.

- When selecting partner, for Both
The most important thing you will ever do for yourself is decide who to marry. Marry the right person and you will be happy and live long. You will look back on your life and cherish it.

Marry the wrong person, and you will experience one crisis after another for the rest of your life (health, money, children….decades of never ending issues).

Most of the letters I covered, because all of them are gems. if you feel good about this go and read the rest of them here ->http://www.rulesforjackandmegan.com/

Have a good day !!!
- Saravana Kumar ( Since 1976)