Emotional Intelligence (EI).

As per my earlier posts, It is clear that everything we react or our internal brain langauage is emotions. So, I tought its better to dig further to understand about the emotions. I found its really amazing that there were alots of expert already done a lot to it. Here is my extract of them with my own views.

Having intelligence about our own emotions means having more control with our reactions, which determines your personality and attitude. Here is how EI defined by Steve Hein
"The mental ability we are born with which gives us our emotional sensitivity and our potential for emotional learning management skills which can help us maximize our long term health, happiness and survival."

80 % of the human emotions are not expressed by words. It is surpressed or altered when it comes out as words. But the 100% of the emotions are expressed in body language. So, when we talk about understanding others emotions includes understanding of their body language.

Once its understood this will help in differenciating healthy ones to unhealthy one and change negative feelings to a positive ones. As you understand others emotions this also helps in communicating self to others.

This is common for both male and female. Emotions are same for both so, the difference only found in the way individual been grownup and lived.

Steve has made 10 habits, which will help improving the EI.

1, Label your feelings, rather than labeling people or situations.
"I feel impatient." vs "This is ridiculous.""I feel hurt and bitter". vs. "You are an insensitive jerk.""I feel afraid." vs. "You are driving like a idiot." 2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.
Thoughts: I feel like...& I feel as if.... & I feel thatFeelings: I feel: (feeling word) 3. Take more responsibility for your feelings.
"I feel jealous." vs. "You are making me jealous."

4. Use your feelings to help them make decisions.
"How will I feel if I do this?" "How will I feel if I don't"

5. Show respect for other people's feelings.
Ask other "How will you feel if I do this?" "How will you feel if I don't."

6. Feel energized, not angry.
Use what others call "anger" to help feel energized to take productive action.

7. Validate other people's feelings.
Show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people's feelings.

8. Practice getting a positive value from their your emotions.
Ask yourself: "How do I feel?" and "What would help me feel better?"Ask others "How do you feel?" and "What would help you feel better?" 9. Don't advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others.
Instead, try to just listen with empathy and non-judgment.

10. Avoid people who invalidate you.
While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time with them, or give them psychological power over you.
Finally here is the link where you can check your level of Emotional Intelligence.

http://www.queendom.com/cgi-bin/tests/transfer.cgi

All the best for your better understanding of the emotions around you everyday you communicate.

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)