Born yet another day !!!

Every day I wake up, I wonder I born again,
I was born inteligent, Oneday.
I was a emotional lump, another day.
I was so stupid,Yesterday.
And, I am irresistable, Today .
I really dont know what I will be for, Tomorrow.

Who makes the script for me daily,
For me to play every day.
Who controls my each day,
For me to follow every day.

With all the surprise and exitement of,
Who will make my next day,
Who will take my next day,
waiting for yet another new birth tomorrow.

Just mumbling the known quote,
Today is life,
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is mistry.

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

Fear of Failure !!

Yesterday I was having a long conversation with my best friend about the depression and failure. Actually it was more of a advice than a discussion :) But really she made my day. So no guess its dedicated to her. Here are some interesting over looks from the conversation. The entire thing is to tell how to overcome failure and fear of failure then to be sucessful.

My first question was "What is that extra the successful persons having than the one who just lives to die ? ". First thing is "passion" as I said it earlier. Still, it was a long debate that there are lots of other things which makes a person successful. Apart from all those reasons, onething which is commonly found is the courage to do things. This can be interpreted as Fear of Failure for unsucessful/unhappy people as fear or Fear of Failure.

When I searched my small memory, I found its true that I was happy ( even it failed) whenever I dared and did something( may be knowingly or unknowingly ). If you watchout carefully, you can see what I am saying is true.

Every time we fail, its not really a failure. It is just the feedback ( Quote from Robert Allen). The true failure is one, when we stop trying again just because we failed in the last attempt or just stop doing even before attempting it.

Buckminster Fuller wrote, "Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes." The failures really gives us opertunity or tells that what we did wrong. This is called learning from the failure.

Then I asked "How to get out of this fear ? " The first thing on the cards was the positive thinking. I think I can do another publish only on this positive thinking, because it does real wonders. It is always good to plan what to do in case of failure, than just thinking only about failure. This will really increases the fear makes it more complicated. As a -ve thinker (:P), I came up with a question "what if one become over confidence or jerk ?". The answer came from my friend was "There is nothing called over confidence, If some one is telling, that he/she is over confidence or jerk, It should be a result of pure jelosy than anything else."

Another good one is that always we tend to take or attach failure to ourself or to a person. Failure actually is a feedback of what you did than what you are. If you really relate any failure with the actions or the way you did, It is going to reveal more opertunity to suceed in the next try.

Apart from all these thoughts, the first step is just taking actions than thinking about it.

- Saravana Kumar ( Since 1976)

Shakespeare the one who said it..

I always wanted to read Shakespeare, but I really took no effort. Here I read some of his quotes, which are wonderful..

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.

The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.

It is a wise father that knows his own child

Sweet are the uses of adversity.

Love sought is good, but given unsought is better

We know what we are, but know not what we may become

I count myselt in nothing else so happy As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends.

For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come.

--William Shakespeare

When did you become the God ?

Somebody told me that the God is everywhere,
I wonder you became the God to me.

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

Memorable dialogs from "Friends"

Here are some of the cool dialogs from Friends.. which I liked it most...

Phoebe : Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
Monica : Phoebe, your mom killed herself.
Phoebe : She was a drug dealer.

Monica : Rach, it's the Visa card people.
Rachel : Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Monica : [On the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to?... Yes, hold on. [to Rachel]
Monica : Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Rachel : But I haven't used my card in weeks.
Monica : That is the unusual activity.

Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler : I'm getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler : When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me..

[Knock at the door - it's Rachel's sister, Jill]
Rachel : Oh my God, Jill.
Jill Green : Oh my God, Rachel.
Chandler : Oh my God, introduce us.

Joey : [thinking] OK, I have no feelings for Rachel. No feelings at all. She's just a friend. I mean, I might have had some feelings for her, but now they're all gone. All of them. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever had feelings for Rachel. [Rachel walks into the room]
Rachel : Hey, sweetie.
Joey : [thinking] I love you.

[Monica creeps up on Chandler, in the men's room]
Monica : You know, Chandler, I've always found public men's rooms to be quite sexy. Haven't you?
Chandler : No. And, if I did, I don't think we would be seeing each other.

Rachel : Then the waiter spilled water down my back, and my boob popped out.
Phoebe : Oh, No
Rachel : It's okiee. I have nice boobs.

Phoebe : They don't know we know they know we know. And Joey, you can't say anything. Joey : Couldn't if I wanted to.

Rachel : Hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* "happen to every guy, " and it *is* a big deal.

[when Joey asks why Chandler's friend is called Gandalf]
Chandler : Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in High School?
Joey : No. I had sex in High School.

Phoebe : I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up.
Monica : No. Why didn't you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?
Phoebe : [pauses] Because I'm normal.

Monica : Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Rachel : So cute I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.

Phoebe : My New Year's Resolution is to pilot a commercial jet plane.
Chandler : That's great Pheebs, now all you have to do is find a plane load of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.

[Joey has packed an emergency kit with food, Mad-Libs and condoms]
Chandler : Condoms?
Joey : We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler : And condoms are the way to do that?

Monica : I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.
Rachel : I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.

Rachel : Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.

[Phoebe and her ex-boyfriend David meet again after a few years of being apart]
Phoebe : You got a haircut.
David : Yeah, well, I got like, thirty of 'em.
Joey : [drinking a beer on the boat] Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. [Yelling]
Joey : Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel : That is the Coast Guard.
Joey : What are they doing in the river then, they should be Guardig the Coast..

Joey : I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years.
Chandler : That was five years ago.
Joey : I know. You got five more years.
Chandler : Joey...
Joey : You want to make it six?


Monica : Yeah, like Ross and Rachel are so responsible. Emma is the product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.

Some more thoughts from Floyd Maxwell

As I said earlier, here am publishing some more thougts and quotes from my fav. Floyed Maxwell...

You only have power over people so long as you don't takeeverything away from them.
When you've robbed a man ofeverything,
he's no longer in your power -- he's free again.
- Alexander

Try to learn something about everythingand everything about something.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

A beautiful thing is never perfect.
- Egyptian proverb

No amount of study or learning will make a man a leader
unless he has the natural qualities of one.
- Archibald

As smile is a curve that can set things straight.
- Unknown

Life is a tough balancing act !!!

Ever you thought, how much we have to balance ourself just to avoid becoming a jerk or stupid or unloveable. In our every day life, we have to pretend, just because to live in this socity and with the loved ones.

Today, I just wanted to be myself for sometime (May be a really bad guy :P ). The thought came, when I was riding my bike. It was not even 10 mins, when I heard a traffic constable shouting at me "abey subha subha 500 fine barneka ?" ( Why the heck u want to pay 500 rs fine in the morning). So, Its like, I just cant be myself and need to compramise / pretend everywhere. It is very easy to get a bad name in socity or family or in workplace.

Mostly balancing needed between career and personal life, which needs greater degree of balancing act. where both are important to any one. It gets worsen when spuose, kids and boss started expecting more from one.

It is also lucky to have an understanding people around you, where you dont need to pretend much. One can really have a wonderful life, when the family, socity and his workplace is understanding /flexible.

The balancing act is going to be there as long as human are social animal. So, atleast lets have a better understanding of our own family, friends and colleagues to make this world a wonderful world.

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

Soul Soothing Evening !!!

It was the october evening,
I was standing next to the arabian sea.
Flashing colors in the sky that,
fantasizing my eyes.
Crossing breeze that,
smooching every where.
Blooming sea freshness, Its
blossom sneeking my nose,
Smoothing waves which,
singing in my ears.
Chilling wine that
slipping in my mouth,
The Evening that
lighting my heart,

Just wondering,
Why to die to be in heaven !!!

Friends over but Joey remains !!!

Hope you heard the much awaited show "Joey" (http://www.joeytv.net/) started in NBC.

After a brillient ever taken commedy a romantic comedy show "Friends" (http://www.friendscafe.org/friends.php ), nbc started showing Joey. Yes the same marvelous actor Matt Le Blanc (my favorate in Friends) carrying on with the new one. I am not sure how much he is signed for. Hope its more than 2 Million $ / show he got in friends.

Not sure, when its gonna be available in india...

Light up life with passion !!!

Have you ever wondered, "Why am I living here ?". Then you are living a life with no passion, which is a life which is dark and torpid.

To get life active, passion is very much important. It is the key to a successful and happy life. All having ambition and dreams always not achieve or been happy on what they did. It is true that, people with passion have achieved their ambitions and and a happy life than one with none.

Once Ms Sudha Murthy, President Infosys foundation was giving interview about her husband Narayan murthy and her own success, She said, "We just had Passion and knowledge than any other business background or people connections to achieve what are now".

Adding some emotion and positive thoughts to whatever one do andwill make them a passionable. It is like adding a pinch of salt, which makes all the difference in the taste of a food. You can feel the difference, when you add passion to every simple thing you do.

So, just find passion within yourself and start applying it on everything you do, you will feel that your life started glittering with new bright lights.

- Saravana Kumar ( Since 1976)

God ?? Beat him black and blue !!!

This is what I thought, when I was 15. Still hav'nt got any good reason to change. I am not sure whether some one else in this world would share the same . But let me express what I think here.. hurreee .. thnx blogger ;)

Till I was 15, I had been going to temple every week with my mom and worship Gods (Hinduism has 30 Cr Gods) with a great belief. And also I do daily morning prayer, before start doing anything. One day I was depressed, I was wondering what is the difference God makes for the one who prays daily, weekly or never. I had friends of all nature and I could come to conclution that, it was obvious that everyone were having their own best timings and worst timings. So, I went ahead and analysed some more depth of it. This is how I started it.

Now leme answer, Why I want to beat God black and blue?

Here is what the two points I have learnt about the God.

• One is that, the God is the ultimate power in this universe (Any religion you can think of, is saying so). Which means, He only created and controlling anything to everything in this world.
• And the another one is that, One has to pray (beg / bribe / praise / cry) the God, so that He will look at you and listen to you and will help you in anything you ask for. (This may be true for physiological way, which I am getting into in the later part)

From the above 2 statements, I asked my self, if God is so powerful, ultimate and have created and controlling this world, then what is that he wants from me by getting me into this world, and create a drama for each day for my life and play with me ?

Is he trying to experiment something? Or doing some kind of time pass? How rude, He is to play with one poor human being whom he created or can control. How bad he is to ask for prayers (I donno whether he asked any one, but my every asked to pray) All these questions led me to the final statement "If God is some one who can understand what I think/say/do and he can still control me/my thougts/my life, then I want to beat Him to death (!!?? too much ist it, but he deserves it :P ) .

Before you blast me with, “Faith heals”, “Don’t question God”. “God is one whom we can’t understand from our mortal brain” or “It is just impossible“. As I understood, it is stupid to search for God with our mind and knowledge. Still, My basic idealogy remains.

I asked my self thousands time “If God made us then who made God? “, but at certain level it bounces out of the logical brain. As I failed in every attempt, I am not going to argue anything on this. Still my idea about God remains same, as it is from my tangible mind.

This actually may leads to total spiritualism. Which I may cover later in.

Last but no least for the matter of fact, I still pray to God, when I am in deep trouble (Can’t help it :-D as I hav’nt yet find anything solid, than what I grown up with)

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a Matrix ?

I have been hearing about this for long time, but I never bothered to check what this NLP is all about. I was having idea that this is very much like a Neural Networks or AI programming techniques, which I learnt all over my college days. But, today i was scanning through the net for this, and found its a interesting one, that atleast one should know what it is, than learning / practicing them.

From my all one day learning, I can simply state that, NLP is a program, which our brain can run. Assume that our brain is a superset of a computer processer and its also running some kinda program/Code, which was written by GOD (??!! or its simply "The Matrix" ). This is a initiative to study the execution codes from one brain and inplant the same in another brain.
By saying this, it has a very clear limitation that it is not possible to program which is out of human thoughts.

The very most objective of this NLP, is to transfer intelligence or skill learnt from one to another brain. For example, if Newton or Einsteen could model ( here onwards i will mention program as model) their thought process, so that any one can import them into our brain to act /think like Newton or Einsteen, after all the same brain (atleast physically) was there for newton and Einsteen. Seems something like UFO stuff ?? But there are guys called "NLPers" around the globe practicing this method and confirming, that this works. They say the challenge lies not only in learning or understanding the complex structures but also in adopting them.

The very basics of this NLP is that once you understand that you create your internal world, you realize you can change it.

There are lots of trainers, who masterd this art and making good money out of it. This also used in phyco therapy to heal some phobic disorders. Learning this may actually help to enhance all aspects of your life from improving your relationships with loved ones, learning to teach effectively, gaining a stronger sense of self esteem, greater motivation, better understanding of communication, enhancing your business or career, bending steel bars in a single bound and an enormous amount of other things that involve the use of your brain.

Here is a link where you can find, what really NLP is all about. http://www.nlpinfo.com/intro/txintro.shtml

If any one interested in this can send me a feed back to get more information and materials about this :-)

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I found this interesting than a quotes.. just check it out..

Beliefs that someone practicing NLP will find useful for creating changes in themselves and the world, more easily and effectively. The emphasis here should be on "useful" not whether each one could be proven to be "true". Practitioners of NLP often include different presuppositions in their list but what follows are the most common.

• Communication is more than what you're saying.
• The body communicates constantly in ways that go far beyond words.
• People already have all the resources they need to effect a change.
  (The resources just weren't lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time.)
• Choice is better than no choice.
• Every behavior serves a positive intention and a context in which it has value.
  (The behavior may never lead to that positive intention but that part of you can learn new behaviors that do. As to a context that has value, imagine overeating at an expensive brunch (got your moneys worth didn't you?). Go with me on this one, it really helps.)
• There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
  (Every response is useful, you may hate the response but the knowledge you gain from it is valuable. )
• If someone can do something, then it can be modeled and taught to anyone else.
• The map is not the territory.
  (We cannot contain every bit of information that comes to us in the world, so we have to create a "map of the territory" and then refer to the map for our information (see representational systems). By changing a person's map, we change their reality. )
• The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
  (If you get slapped, try anything else.)
• If you aren't getting the response you want, try something different.
• People work perfectly.
  (No one is "broken". They are functioning perfectly in what they are doing now (even if it is ruining their life), it's a matter of finding how they function now, so that we can help them change into doing something they consider more desirable.)
  
  

People Manipulation using mental shortcuts

Have you ever thought about our mental shortcuts ? Here I am trying to expore more on this and to give more insight about it.

Its worth giving a example than explain that. Have you ever wonder, how you reached your home / office / school today ? You have'nt asked any one. You have'nt even thought about whether you are going in the right way. Same is to the driving, are you giving the same attention to the gear change that you have given earlier? Well, it has been automated after few repeatation. These all called automatic behaviour.

Take another example of a news you read today in the news paper. Have you ever thought, you need to verify it ? No, you just belived it. You have taken the shortcut to belive that anything comes in "Times of India" or "The Hindu" headline is true. But you still doubt what ever comes in 3rd page gossip. These are all the shortcuts you take based on the automatic behaviour.

Think Pepsi.

Now guess, What the college guys are drinking ?

Did you really thought they are drinking milk ? C'mon then you never seen any ad in TV.

This is called relative manipulation. showing or telling something and then ask a related question which the persons brain is already trained to take shortcuts. He will defenatly land on the answer you expected.

We all know whats the meaning of "Sale", which all shopes does. But, we know the another meaning of it when it is displayed in the shop. People are going to pour into the shop and buy, even if they have increased the price and and selling them. This is how any one can be get maniputlated by their brain taking shortcuts.

There are some preinstalled rules ( shortcuts got installed ) in our brain, one example of that is "if some one helps you, you owe him a favour in return". This can be used in selling something by offering trails or samples. When you are offered free juice or something, what you gonna do ? Atleast you would be thinking of buying one, if its not that worse. But this mind set never comes easily, when a sales person just asking you to buy them telling its qualities.

This world is so complex, as our mind is too. It learns everthing without you knowing it as the learning also an automated one.

Shortcuts are very much essential to our life in everything we do in our daily life. Its impossible to imagine living with no shortcuts. As we dont even know that we are using shortcuts and we do have no control over them. In the same time whenever we use them we stand vulnerable.

Our mind is with countless shortcuts and we still learning daily. Its easy for any one to manipulte us with the shortcuts as well to create a new shortcut.

Going further this direction I think I will become a manipulator ;)

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

SAVING IS SIN, SPENDING IS VIRTUE !!!

After a long journy of my own writings ( may be inspired by some one else :-P), this is one sort am just copy pasting the article as its much better and I cant add more into this. This could be useful to anyone, Imperative for some, void for the rest.

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also
Japan exports far more than it imports. Has an annual
trade surplus of over $100 billions, yet Japanese
economy is considered weak, even collapsing. Americans
spend, save little. Also US imports more than it
exports. Has an annual trade deficit of over $400
billion. Yet, the American economy is considered
strong and trusted to get stronger. But where from do
Americans get money to spend? They borrow from Japan,
China and even India. Virtually others save for the US
to spend.


Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.
India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over
$50 billions in US securities. China has sunk over
$160 billion in US securities. Japan's stakes in US
securities is in trillions. Result: The US has taken
over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world
saves for the US, Americans spend freely.


Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for
the US economy to work, other countries have to remit
$180 billion every quarter, that is 2 billion a day,
to the US! Otherwise the US economy would go for a
six. So will the global economy. The result will be no
different if US consumers begin consuming less.

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has
invested more, US in China, or China in US? The US has
invested in China less than half of what China has
invested in US. The same is the case with India. We
have invested in US over $50 billion.


But the US has invested less than $20 billion in
India. Why the world is after US? The secret lies in
the American spending, that they hardly save. In fact
they use their credit cards to spend their future
income. That the US spends is what makes it attractive
to export to the US. So US imports more than what it
exports year after year. The result: The world is
depend! ent on US consumption for its growth. By its
deepening culture of consumption, the US has
habituated the world to feed on US consumption. But as
the US needs money to finance its consumption, the
world provides the money. It's like a shopkeeper
providing the money to a customer so that the customer
keeps buying from the shop. The customer will not buy,
the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper
funds him.

The US is like the lucky customer. And the world is
like the helpless shopkeeper financier. Who is
America's biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of
course. Yet its Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend,
so they do not grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese
government exerted it self. Reduced the savings rates,
even charged! the savers. Even then the Japanese did
not spen! d (habits don't change, even with taxes, do
they?). Their traditional postal savings alone is
over$1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan,
has become its pain.


Hence, what is the lesson?


That is, a nation cannot grow unless the people spend,
not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend. Dr.
Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in
the US, told Manmohan Singh that Indians wastefully
save. Ask them to spend, on imported cars and,
seriously,
even on cosmetics! This will put India on a growth
curve. "Saving is sin, and spending is virtue." Before
you follow this neo economics, get some fools to save
so that you can borrow from them and spend. This is
what US has successfully done in last few decades.

The Nice Guys Syndrom - A Dip Inside

In this age of overloaded crimes and terrorism in each and every part of the world, there is a last thing to be taken care is "the nice guys syndrom". There is a statistics that every 1 out of 4 american men are into this syndrom, but I dont have stats for Indian men. I belive its common everywhere so let me get some insight on this.

Dr. Glover had made a big buck out of this over a decade with his writings and therapy. http://nomoremrniceguy.com is the site which sells his therapy to the men in allover the globe.
I have spent some time exploring about this to find what this buzz is all all about. This is also because somebody told me that I am too nice to others. So here its all about the syndrom into the depth analysed.

Here are the list of things about a too nice guy.

• He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.
• He is the friend who will do anything for anybody, but whose own life seems to be in shambles.
• He is the guy who frustrates his wife because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.
• He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.
• He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn't want to rock the boat.
• He is the dependable guy at work who will never say "no," but would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.
• He is the man whose life seems so under control, until BOOM, one day he does something to destroy it all.

To be honest, I seriouly doubt whether I too have this syndrom ;). But given the fact that I almost all human beings are atleast born nice. Its not so clear as the line between nice and too nice is so thin to identify. But the guy with this syndrom is more of an desperate, insecure, dependent and probably depressed adult male.

The so called nice things are always related to female charectors and the same is mentioned by Glover that a nice guy is "a female perspective on masculinity." Somewhere Glover is raising men against the growing feminism, is what the concern from the feminists.

After some thought, I got a sense that nice guys simply lacking smartness. When they add the smartness as toppings to their base nice-guyism they achive most. One of this kinda example said by Glover is Clinton.

Fine, I think now its clear what a nice guy syndrom is all about and who they are !! As this charecteristics are mostly developed in the childhood, parents are the one having all responsibility to groom them with full self-esteem. The possible reasons for a man to getinto this are

• The men grown up with only females with no male support or contact.
• Boys who had no social support system
• Men had a depraved, abusive parents in his childhood.
• Having lack of confidence self-esteem.
• Not to mention the lack of testestrone, as it got to do something with this too

I think I can windup at this point, as the going further will repeat what Dr Glover had done already the for decades, which can be found from his website mentioned above.

There is one more dimention to this and its said that nice guys are the last one to get a girl friend or never. With this regards I have got some advice for teeny nice guys, from a "Ex Nice Guy" ( named Phoo) . He is writing on how to come out of this nice guy syndrom and have a girlfriend. Dr Glover is nothing to do with this individual's tricks, as his main concern is about more about matrure / married nice guys. Here Phoo has tried to classify masculine personalities, may be a interesting try. So I just have published it with his own words, here it goes...

The process of growing out of a nice guy?

Nice Guyius Maximus - wishes he was a girl, that girls would ask him out. Will not confront. Extremely sensitive, extremely emotional, easily infatuated. Wants to marry the girl after the first date.

Bitter Guy - realization of the nice guy being last, but still unable to fully embrace reality. This guy is realizing that what he thought was never reality and will never be reality. Bitter Guy ends when he understands that it is time to act like a MAN.

Decent Guy - still not able to utilize himself fully, still unable to fully propel his personality. Yet, he is now able to control his feelings. He stops getting easily infatuated, he stops telling the girl how he feels. He understands the Romance Game now, and is observing everything so he can jump in and play too. It's only a matter of time before he becomes...

Neat Guy - he has become comfortable with women, with even approaching women some of the time. Yet, still, he doesn't have that charm, that knack. If he keeps trying (i.e. getting rejected) he will eventually become...

Good Guy - Yes! This is what the girls are looking for. Men make towers, women cast webs. While men are stimulated through our eyes (such as in, "Mmmm... Hot chick!"), women are stimulated through their ears, through social contact ("He is so cool, fun, and smart!"). Good guys charm naturally; it requires no effort.
** Unfortunately, many former nice-guys don't get past their insecurity. They realize the methods but not the inner core. They begin to swing to the opposite extreme...

A Jerk - cares about only one thing. His charm has deteriorated due to him taking things for granted (his looks, his confidence, all pulling in gals).

So the last one is a over growth of a nice guy transformation :) Here I am comming to the conclu

As Dr Glover says comming out of this syndorom is not so easy and "It is a dramatic shift in paradigm." All the best nice guys to have his paradigam shift !!!

- Saravana Kumar ( Since 1976)

A Lateral Thinking- Every live in this world are selfish !!!

Oops!!! one of my friend 2day stimulated my brain to think think about selfishness.
I was wondering, if any one really there in this world with absolute selfishness. I found practically it is looking imposible to live without selfishness.

When you take the case of one who claims they are selfless and devote themself for others happiness. Eventhough everybody agrees that it is selflessness, technically i feel they also selfish, in the way they want to be happy when they see others peaceful and happy. ( what a cruel thinking is it :P)

Take another case of one hurting/cheating/killing etc. another for some selfish reason, that inturn turns out to be that he did that because he wants to be happy / getrid of pain by doing so.

This remainds me of the Darwin's struggle for existence theory, which proves that this is true. Every life in this earth has to struggle to live all the time. If this is the life then one has to always fight for self happiness ( incl. food, drink, affirmation .. etc.).

So, It goes like one cant be a truely selfless and live in this world practically. After all we are mortals and its a struggle living here. So, I feel the selfishness can be for good cause selfish and bad cause selfish than selfishness and selflessness. So, its better not to be guilty being selfish some time.

It may invite lots of critics ;) but still the truth remains there....


- Saravana Kumar ( Since 1976)

The first ever quote "Change" from me !!

ha, this would be my first ever writen quote by me, which sparked when i was driving ??!! here it goes...

You are the only one, who can change yourself,
The only one you can change is yourself.
- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)

Interesting quotes from "First Break All the Rules"

Here again some quotes from "First Break All the Rules".. These to help managers to select and manage people.

• Your talents are the behaviors you find yourself doing often..
• People don't change much.
• Don't waste time trying to put in what was left out. Try to draw out what was left in. That is hard enough.
• Great managers look inward... Great leaders, by contrast, look outward... Great managers are not simply managers who have developed sophistication.
• Only the presence of talents can explain why, all other factors being equal, some people excel in the role and some struggle
• As manager you need to know exactly which talents you want.
• Great talents need great managers if they are to be turned into performance.
• Each employee breathes different psychological oxygen.
• In the minds of great managers, consistent poor performance is not primarily a matter of weakness, stupidity disobedience, or disrespect. It is a matter of miscasting

Skills,Knowledge and talents - Management

Today I came across mapping people skill, talent and competence requirements. On the way I learnt this interesting classification of skill, knowledge and talents from "First Break All the Rules" by Marcus Buckingham, Curt Coffman from Gallup. here is the important principle of that book, that I have taken it from http://decker.typepad.com/ ...


Skills, Knowledge, and Talents: What is the difference among the three?
Great managers are not troubled by the fact that there is a limit to how much they can rewire someone’s brain.

Skills, knowledge, and talents are distinct elements of a person’s performance. The distinction among the three is that skills and knowledge can easily be taught, whereas talents cannot.

Skills are the how-to’s of a role.

The best way to teach a skill is to break down the total performance into steps, which the student then reassembles. And, naturally, the best way to learn a skill is to practice.

Your knowledge is simply “what you are aware of.”

There are two kinds of knowledge: factual knowledge – things you know; and experiential knowledge – understandings you have picked up along the way.
Factual knowledge for an accountant would be knowing the rules of double-entry bookkeeping. Experiential knowledge is a little different. Through this kind of musing or reflection you can start to see patterns and connections. You can start to understand.

Talents are a different phenomena altogether.

A love of precision is not a skill. Nor is it knowledge. It is a talent.

Three Kinds of Talent - Striving talents, thinking talents and relating talents
Striving talents explain the why of a person. They explain why he gets out of bed every day, why he is motivated to push and push just that little bit harder. Is he intensely competitive or intensely altruistic or both? Does he define himself by his technical competence, or does he just want to be liked?

Thinking talents explain the how of a person. They explain how he thinks, how he weighs up alternatives, how he comes to his decisions.

Relating talents explain the who of a person. They explain whom he trusts, whom he builds relationships with, whom he confronts, and whom he ignores.

I find this incredibly important simply because managers and people tend to try to change others. Sometimes managers try to 'develop' talents, when it is almost impossible to do so. This foundational concept leads to the next profound principle: Put people in positions where they can leverage their talents. They will be more successful, productive, and happy.

The crush that crashed me :)

Oops!!! I have writen this.. I cant belive, but I think with real deep emotions any one can do .. So u got it :P Heres what I felt so ....

The moment i met you,
you become everything i had in my life.
The moment you left me,
I lost everything i had in my life...
I am so alone,
which I never ever felt..
Who given you so much power,
to drew everthing, so I have nothing left ?
Who taken all my powers,
that I lost everything with no resist ?
Still, I am not dead and have to live,
and wishing this state wont persist.
I started making my new life,
by ignoring this simple emotional burst.
And, sure not to give this to any other stranger
who just gonna passes by next...
But, Stilll....

- Saravana :)

Some interesting quotes

I have subscribed to Floyd Maxwell's just think it group. hes just amazing guy as he sends out ever refreshing quotes and thoughts to thousands of its members non-stop for years. I have a very good collection of them. Just check out his website ( http://www.just-think-it.com/bio.htm ) I thought its better to publish some of them in my blog... and here it goes...

First one is of his own favorite..

"People don't care how much you know,
until they know how much you care,
about them."
- Zig Ziglar

Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events,
small minds discuss people.
- FM

No amount of study or learning will make a man a leader
unless he has the natural qualities of one.
- Archibald Wavell

After all we are all mortals,
and every person really understands that "we will all die some day" then why do we worry about events and objects?
We are like tourists; we come and go on this planet Earth.Make the best of your visit and when you have to go, makesure you have with you something that cannot die.
- Shantinath

Of all knowledge,
the wise and good seek mostto know themselves.
- William Shakespeare

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish proverb

The happy people are those who are producing something;
the bored people are those who are consuming much andproducing nothing.
- William Ralph Inge

Everyone excels in something in which another fails.
- Latin proverb

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work,
ask him "Who's?"
- Don Marquis (1878-1937)

If you like a man's laugh before you know anything of him,
you may say with confidence that he is a good man.
- Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoevsky (1821-1881)

Its all I had time today to post.. will post whenever get time again...