God ?? Beat him black and blue !!!

This is what I thought, when I was 15. Still hav'nt got any good reason to change. I am not sure whether some one else in this world would share the same . But let me express what I think here.. hurreee .. thnx blogger ;)

Till I was 15, I had been going to temple every week with my mom and worship Gods (Hinduism has 30 Cr Gods) with a great belief. And also I do daily morning prayer, before start doing anything. One day I was depressed, I was wondering what is the difference God makes for the one who prays daily, weekly or never. I had friends of all nature and I could come to conclution that, it was obvious that everyone were having their own best timings and worst timings. So, I went ahead and analysed some more depth of it. This is how I started it.

Now leme answer, Why I want to beat God black and blue?

Here is what the two points I have learnt about the God.

• One is that, the God is the ultimate power in this universe (Any religion you can think of, is saying so). Which means, He only created and controlling anything to everything in this world.
• And the another one is that, One has to pray (beg / bribe / praise / cry) the God, so that He will look at you and listen to you and will help you in anything you ask for. (This may be true for physiological way, which I am getting into in the later part)

From the above 2 statements, I asked my self, if God is so powerful, ultimate and have created and controlling this world, then what is that he wants from me by getting me into this world, and create a drama for each day for my life and play with me ?

Is he trying to experiment something? Or doing some kind of time pass? How rude, He is to play with one poor human being whom he created or can control. How bad he is to ask for prayers (I donno whether he asked any one, but my every asked to pray) All these questions led me to the final statement "If God is some one who can understand what I think/say/do and he can still control me/my thougts/my life, then I want to beat Him to death (!!?? too much ist it, but he deserves it :P ) .

Before you blast me with, “Faith heals”, “Don’t question God”. “God is one whom we can’t understand from our mortal brain” or “It is just impossible“. As I understood, it is stupid to search for God with our mind and knowledge. Still, My basic idealogy remains.

I asked my self thousands time “If God made us then who made God? “, but at certain level it bounces out of the logical brain. As I failed in every attempt, I am not going to argue anything on this. Still my idea about God remains same, as it is from my tangible mind.

This actually may leads to total spiritualism. Which I may cover later in.

Last but no least for the matter of fact, I still pray to God, when I am in deep trouble (Can’t help it :-D as I hav’nt yet find anything solid, than what I grown up with)

- Saravana Kumar (Since 1976)